Today I bought my first pregnancy test.

Over the last few weeks, I had noticed that my boobs were growing. They felt unusually sensitive. On the usual rush hour run, I’m often myself pushing through the crowds of the underground. But recently, I had become acutely aware of more boob bashes than usual. Sometimes I’d even feel a boob bruise coming on. No idea if it’s actually even possible to get a boob bruise, but my body was trying to tell me something.

Geoff had cheerily noticed my expanding breasts and joked, “I bet you’re pregnant?!”. We laughed. Then it suddenly hit me – I actually could be. Geoff and I decided to come off the coil when we got engaged, two months ago. So I decided to take a test, just in case.

This evening, after work, I went to Boots. I scanned the shop, like a ninja, to check the coast was clear from familiar faces. I checked all the isle signs to work out which one might have a pregnancy test. I didn’t have much luck. Was I really going to have to ask a shop assistant?! I suddenly felt very nervous. Luckily one of the shop assistants noticed me looking completely lost and came over to ask if she could help.

I whispered “Hi. Thank you. Could you please show me where I might find a pregnancy test?”. Fortunately she could lip read – probably a pre-requisite for a Boots shop assistant. Her reaction was better than I could ever have imagined. Her look changed, almost immediately, from rather tired and bored, to proud and excited. She clasped her hands together and almost jumped on the spot.

The shop assistant walked me over to the isle. She reached over and handed me a Boots own brand double test pack and a further single test. “Three is the magic number!”, she said. It was hard to tell whether she was superstitious or whether she has a sixth sense that it was triplets. CRIKEY can you imagine having triplets? The image of three screaming babies lying side by side suddenly became very vivid in my mind. I shook off the scary image, thanked the shop assistant for her help and walked towards the cash point to pay.

I have no idea why I chose the manned check out, instead of the self check out – I just did. Awful decision. Five prying eyes, two cashiers and two other customers either side raising their eyebrows as my own cashier picked up my pregnancy tests one by one and bleeped their bar codes. She was gleaming at me. She may as well have picked them up, waved them around and done a happy dance. It was all becoming rather real.

I got home that evening and hid the three tests in my sock drawer – the ultimate hiding place. Not sure who I was hiding them from, but it seemed like the appropriate home for them.

I wanted to do the tests there and then, but I also wanted Geoff to be with me. Geoff was out at a work do, so I bit all my nails off and went to bed.


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